New Year-Same Illness

The New Year is just around the corner. I feel the anxiety to figure out how to solve all my problems- especially concerning my illnesses. I want to commit to weekly yoga, daily meditation, a better diet, positive thinking, and so on.

The problem is when the ball drops at midnight and 2018 begins, I will still have an anxiety disorder along with depression and fibromyalgia. I won’t have all the answers for my healing. As much as I wish for some “new year, new me” motivation magic to wash over me, I am probably going to feel just as frustrated as I do now. I am trying to resist the temptation to guilt myself into another quick fix fantasy.

I just want to give us all permission to wake up January 1st and still feel stuck, sad, and anxious. Heck, I want to give us permission to panic at New Years Eve parties and just do what we need to relax that evening.

Instead, I want to take advantage of this new season to focus on being more gracious with myself. I want to give myself permission to fail, fall, and get back up again.

That’s all. I don’t need anymore expectations than I already try and put on myself. Actually, here’s to hopefully a new year with less shaming expectations and more compassion and celebrating the small things.