Do It Afraid

I’m starting to really challenge the thought that people are truly fearless. Or if being fearless is something to strive for.

I’ve been running from fear for a long time. My anxiety is fueled by all kinds of fears.

We are taught at a young age to run away from or avoid the things that make us afraid. In some circumstances, this is appropriate.

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Hospitalization: Umh, Can I just stay here?

No shoe laces. No belts. No essential oils because they come in glass bottles. No dry shampoo because the can is aluminum. No phones. Your door doesn’t lock. Yes, you can have your books. Here’s some socks. It stays cold up here.

Being an inpatient in the psych unit is like being on a different planet. Most of the rules that guide our every day lives don’t apply. There are no alarm clocks to push you out of bed. There’s no reason to worry about what you look like. Someone makes sure you eat and take your meds. No one expects anything of you.

There is no producing. There is no performing. No one is pretending here. We all know we are broken. Nobody asks “How are you?” Because nobody is going to respond, “I’m fine!” We are all just trying to get back on our feet.

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